


Pour a Little Sugar on It

by Folle (orphan_account)



Series: Sportacus and Robbie Discover the Secrets of the Universe [4]
Category: LazyTown
Genre: Home remedies, M/M, dubcon, for me and my kitten soft thunder thighs, okay so listen, raw honey mixed with water works miracles with chafing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 08:16:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8659465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Folle
Summary: prompt: Robbie has a sweet-tooth, obviously, and he tries to show sports that it can have its benefits.
Sportacus freaks out over a little chafing and thinks he's dying. Robbie helps, but in the process turns Sportacus on he runs with it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> for anonymous on tumblr :) i love wine so much :):):)

Today was just supposed to be a nice, relaxing day for Robbie to stroll around town to find mischief to get himself into.

It was a pleasant 60 degrees out, and as far as he could tell, all the children were indoors. Although they were being healthy, playing twister of all things and eating _carrots_ of all things, it was better than having them outside, screeching and dribbling basketballs.

Robbie shuddered at the thought, and continued on his walk. He contemplated heading to the store to _finally_ pick up some ingredients from the grocery store to make dinner, as he was running low on food.

But as is always the case whenever he is heading to the store, he is interrupted by Sportacus. He was angry the first couple of times it happened, but he quickly became accustomed to the hero stopping him, or walking alongside him, and convincing him to buy healthy food.

It was a little ritual that Robbie had even grown to like a little. Sportacus would walk him to the store, and beg him to buy sportscandy, Robbie would buy nothing but junk food, and then Sportacus would lecture him on why it was bad for him to only eat sugar and junk.

That was the part that Robbie relished in. He secretly enjoyed being lectured. It made him feel like there was at least one person in town that cared about him. But said person was Sportakook, his arch nemesis. How could a fool like him actually care about a villain?

Sportacus met up with him, as per usual, but he was uncharacteristically silent. There was no boyishly handsome grin on his face, and there was even a little sweat on his temple. He wasn’t running around or flipping as he walked beside Robbie, but matched his pace. And his gait… it was almost as if he was injured somewhere below the belt-

Robbie clamped his mouth shut instead of teasing the hero about it. He had put two and two together, and decided that what the hero did was his own business. He had already gotten enough hell in school for the same reason, and didn’t want to dish is out on Sportacus.

He wouldn’t wish it on his worst enemy.

When they had walked past a mailbox, Sportacus glanced at it for a brief second, and paused before speaking up. “Robbie?”

“If you even think about trying to get me to buy-”

“No, Robbie- Listen I… I- I need your help,” he almost whimpered.

Robbie turned on his heels to face Sportacus, a devious grin spread across his face. “Well, well, well, how the turntables-”

“Robbie!” he hissed, grabbing the man by his waist coat before promptly wincing and letting go. “I am being serious; I really do need your help.” His voice gets quiet as he struggles to look Robbie directly in the eyes.

“Oh, and what does the great and mighty Sportaflop need help with from Robbie Rotten?”

The shame burns bright on Sportacus’ face, and he bites his lip, not able to look at Robbie anymore. “I’m… hurt and I don’t know what to do…”

Robbie’s face fell as soon as he heard those words. Maybe what happened wasn’t exactly consensual. He gently laid his hands on Sportacus’ shoulder and looked at him in the face with a soft expression. “Who hurt you? Give me a name and I swear, he will pay-”

The elf’s face bunched up in confusion. “What are you talking about? My body hurts- Robbie, what did you think happened?”

Robbie may have added two and two together, but apparently he got five. He removed his hands and stood up straight again. “Never mind. If you’re hurt, go to a doctor. You don’t need me coddling you, nor do I want to.” He turned to walk away, continuing on to the store, but was stopped by Sportacus grabbing him by the arm, letting out a hiss of pain as he did so.

“Please!” he pleaded. “I’m hurt in a very embarrassing place, and I do not know what to do. You have, ahem, already seen me not fully dressed.”

He huffed and rolled his eyes. “I don’t know if you know this, but doctors are used to seeing people naked, just go to one.”

“But I do not want the finding out about ‘you know what’,” he said pointing to his ears. “Please, I am begging you, help me!” He held one of Robbie’s hands in his own clasped pair, squeezing it so tight that his skin was starting to turn white.

“Ugh, fine. You know what, head back to my place and wait for me there, and let go of me!” He shouted, pulling his hand away.

Sportacus sighed, relief apparent in his eyes. His lips quirked up into a smile that lit up his whole face. “Oh thank you so much! I will head there right away!” He zoomed off in the direction of Robbie’s lair, almost like his normal self again, albeit with a slight limp, and no flipping.

“And don’t touch any of my stuff while you’re there!” he yelled after him, shaking his fist. When Sportadupe paid no mind to him, he sighed and headed back on track to the grocery store. “Damned sports elves,” he grumbled under his breath.

By the time he got back, he was already tired. He had gotten all too much stuff, stocking up so he wouldn’t have to do anymore shopping for a good few weeks. And there Sportacus was, just sitting on his fuzzy orange chair. Robbie would say patiently, but he was squirming around, as if staying still was causing him a great deal of pain. He set down his bags on the floor near his fridge, and stared down at Sportacus with his hands on his hips.

“Now what, pray tell, was so embarrassing that you couldn’t go to an actual doctor’s for?” he asked exasperatedly.

The elf started squirming again, avoiding all eye contact like the plague. “It’s… It’s my armpits and…” The intensity of his squirming increased.

“And?” Robbie asked. When he received no answer, he put his head in his hands for a moment to collect himself. “Just… point to where else it hurts Sportadip.”

He wasn’t really prepared for when the damned elf spread his legs and pointed dangerously close to the juncture of his thigh.

“It, um, burns whenever I walk, or move my arms around. I do not really know what is happening Robbie. I’m…” He went deathly still, and deathly quiet for a moment, before looking up at him with tears welling up in his eyes, daring to spill out. “I’m scared Robbie, and I don’t know what to do.”

Robbie wanted to laugh. He wanted to laugh so hard that he would end up curled up on the floor vomiting his lunch up. But instead, he wiped his hands down his face. “You’re scared, of chafing?” he asked slowly, trying his best to control his voice.

“What is chafing? Is it bad?” Sportanut’s voice started getting panicked, and his eyes were blown wide. His fingers were desperately clutching into the material of Robbie’s pants.

“No it’s not, just get out of your shirt and pants, and I’ll help you out.” Robbie’s face was red as he headed over to the kitchen, not wanting to see the process of the elf getting out of clothes. He was not entirely certain how Sportakook hadn’t experienced chafing before, but he wasn’t here to judge. At least vocally, no one can criticize him for what he thinks. Though with the countless inane situations he has gotten himself into, he can’t really judge.

Robbie started running the hot tap, desperately ignoring the shuffling of cloth and zippers from behind him. As the water warmed up, he scavenged around his cupboard something in particular, that he wasn’t even sure was good anymore. But lo and behold, he found it and the bottle said is wouldn’t expire for another year. Now all he had to do was dilute it a bit with the warm water…

When he turned around, he nearly spilled the concoction everywhere. He should have really called the police, because a body like that should be illegal. All toned muscles, and ridiculously tight boxers. And his stupid hat, of course. But Robbie was a grown man, he’d been in theatre with plenty of beefcakes, so he should have been able to handle this just fine.

He silently instructed Sportacake to lift his arms up as he wiped off his armpits with the rag he kept near the table. This boy just doesn’t know when to quit, apparent by the weeping rash. He then slathered it on with the goo in the cup.

“Robbie… This stuff smells very sweet…” Worry laced his tone.

“Don’t worry, it’s just honey-”

“Just honey!” The elf scrambled backward, and would have climbed over the back of the chair if Robbie hadn’t grabbed him around the waist and pulled him back. “Robbie, you could kill me with that!”

“Oh hush, honey is made from plants, it isn’t going to kill you-”

“But-”

“No,” Robbie dictated sternly. “You listen here. Just because something has sugar in it, doesn’t mean it is bad for you or kill you. I am trying to help you here, but if you’re going to be so damned stubborn, then you go to a doctor and get help.”

That shut Sportacus up real fast. He went from panicked to looking like a child who had just been lectured by their parent. “I guess you would know best. I know you wouldn’t do anything to kill me.” He smiled warmly, making Robbie’s heart skip a beat or two. This fool would be the death of him.

He didn’t have to lift up Sportacus’ arms this time, as he gladly did it himself. He continued to slather his armpits, and instructed him to keep his arms up. Then came the legs. He ordered him to spread his legs, and then clenched his jaw shut, determined not to show any emotions on his face. This is a position he had dreamed to be in for such a long time, but Sportacus is entrusting him to help him heal.

The moment the watered down honey touched Sportacus’ skin, he gasped. From pain or some other entire reason, Robbie wasn’t certain, but he continued on, spreading the honey on his reddened. And as if he didn’t smell good before…

Sportacus sucked in a sharp breath, and had to stifle a moan that threatened to spill out of his mouth. He had absolutely no clue where that noise came from, but he knew if Robbie heard it, there would be no end to the teasing. But being rubbed there, a spot where his skin was soft and sensitive… He bit down on his lip almost hard enough to draw blood. A heat light molten metal coiled in his stomach, making his body feel all fuzzy and strange.

Robbie was well aware of the current growing problem in front of him, trust him. But he was a bit of a sadist and couldn’t help but ignore it, asides from the occasional brush from the back of his hand. Every touch caused Sportacus’ body to jerk, and let out these tiny, adorable whines that would have affected him if he wasn’t so experienced at repressing every little thing he felt. But he did allow himself a tiny, miniscule even, smile. He looked up at Sportacus and almost lost his composure.

The elf’s pupils were blown wide, and his cheeks were stained a bright pink. He had long since set his arms down, and his hands held a deathly grip on the arm rest. So tight of a grip that his knuckles were starting to turn white.

“Is something wrong Sportadung?” he asked in an overtly oblivious and sweet voice that flew straight over the sport elf’s head.

“N-no, everything is fine. My body just feels a little weir- AH!” He took in a sharp breath, and he body went taut as Robbie’s hand went a little too low, and “accidentally” brushed a very sensitive spot. He stayed like that for a few seconds while a stain grew on the front of his boxers.

Robbie, being the sadist he was, stood up after Sportacus slumped against the back of the chair, panting, and unable to get any words to form. “Well, you should be all fine. The chafing was probably caused by the material of your clothes wearing out. You should probably get new ones, but,” Robbie scooped up the neatly folded clothing that were set on the side table next to his chair. “In the meantime, keep your armpits clean, and rub deodorant in between your thighs, or wear spanx or something. Also, remember to wash those clothes, they’re probably filthy and the honey isn’t going to help at all.” He dumped the clothes into Sportafuck’s lap and dusted his hands off. “Now if you don’t mind, I have actual, important things to do besides dotting on _you_.”

Sportacus looked up at him incredulously before getting off the chair. He nearly toppled over the moment he was on both feet. He nearly fell over a few other times while getting dressed, but Robbie just stood there off to the side, a satisfied grin on his face.

Robbie waved back when the elf finally left, giving a small thanks before climbing up the hatch. The whole endeavor was frustrating, but at least he now had another thing to add to his small list of things to keep him warm at night.

But then Robbie remembered he’d have to clean honey and spunk out of his fluffy orange chair, and was really doubting if the whole thing was worth it.


End file.
